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How many car salesmen does it take to change a light bulb?
I'm going to work this out on my calculator, and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
If all the cars in the United States were placed end-to-end, it would probably be Memorial Day Weekend...
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
A short-cut is the longest distance between two points.
A policeman pulled over a man on a country road and said "Sir, do you realize that your wife fell out the car several miles back?"
To which the man replied, "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"
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