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Free Jokes
JokeCatalog.com   >   Health   >   Doctors   >   Doctor Doctor Jokes

Doctor Doctor Jokes

"Doctor, doctor, can you help me out?"
"Of course, which way did you come in?"

"Doctor, doctor, I think that I've got amnesia."
"When did it start?"
"When did what start?"

"Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the piano after my operation?"
"Yes."
"That's fantastic, because I never could before."

"Doctor, doctor, I can't stop shaking."
"Do you drink a lot?"
"No, I spill most of it."

"Doctor, doctor, my wooden leg is giving me a lot of pain."
"Why's that?"
"My wife keeps hitting me over the head with it."

"Doctor, doctor, my hair's coming out. Can you give me something to keep it in?"
"Certainly. Here's a paper bag?"

"Doctor, doctor, I've broken my leg in two places."
"Well, don't go back to either of them again then!"

"Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film."
"Let's see what develops."

"Doctor, doctor, everyone thinks that I'm a liar."
"I don't believe you."

"Doctor, doctor, people keep ignoring me."
"Next!"

"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a vampire."
"Necks please!"

"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a mosquito."
"Go away sucker!"

"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a spoon."
"Sit there and don't stir."

"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a bridge."
"What's come over you?"
"Two cars and a bus!"

"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a pair of curtains."
"Pull yourself together!"

"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a pack of cards."
"I'll deal with you later."

"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking that I'm an electric eel."
"That's shocking."

"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a billiard ball."
"Get back in the queue."

"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking that there's two of me."
"One at a time, please."

"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a bell."
"Take these tablets for aweek, and if it doesn't help, give me a ring."

"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a dog."
"Lie down on the couch and I'll examine you."
"I can't. I'm not allowed on the furniture."

"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking that I'm invisible."
"Who said that?"

"Doctor, doctor, my sister's become invisible."
"What sister?"

"Doctor, doctor, my son swallowed my pen. What should I do?"
"Use a pencil instead."

"Doctor, doctor, some days I feel like a teepee, and other days, like a wigwam."
"You're two tents."

"Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed my pillow."
"How do you feel?"
"A little down in the mouth."

"Doctor, doctor, I keep painting myself gold."
"Don't worry, it's just a gilt complex."


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